Common conversations in a laboratory setting:

Monday

Advisor: Are you sure you spun down the samples?

Grad student: Yes

Advisor: Are you sure the tube had samples when you spun them down?

Grad student: Yes

Advisor: Are you sure the centrifuge was working when spinning down the samples?

Grad student: Yes

Advisor: Are you sure that the centrifuge was plugged on?

Grad student: Yes

Advisor: Ok. Do this experiment again


Tuesday

Grad student: I do not know why this didn’t work

Advisor: It worked last time when Jennifer (lab technician) did it

Grad student: Maybe we need to order fresh antibodies

Advisor: It worked last time when Jennifer used the old antibodies

Grad student: Maybe there is no true association

Advisor: Maybe you are stupid

Grad student: Pardon me?

Advisor: Ok. Do this experiment again


Wednesday

Lab technician: Hey, pick the trash

Grad student: I am in the middle of an experiment

Lab technician: Hey, prepare the buffers

Grad student: But I had prepared them just 2 hours back

Lab technician: Hey, do my Western. I’m going home

Grad student: Hey !

Advisor: Bye (to lab technician). You are coming this Saturday right? (to grad student)


Thursday

Post-doc: Myc family of transcription factors contain bHLH/LZ domain and through its bHLH domain can bind to DNA, while the leucine zipper domain allows the dimerization with its partner Max, another bHLH transcription factor.

Grad student: Whoa! What the heck?

Post-doc: This is my desk. Get off

Grad student: That’s your desk. This is mine.

Post-doc: Now both are mine.

Grad student: But I love my Mac

Post-doc: My Mac. Use your laptop

Grad student: Sniff!

Post-doc: Are those my pants you are wearing?


Friday (afternoon 3pm)

Lab-technician: Bye

Grad student: Bye

Post-doc: Bye

Grad student: Bye

Advisor: Bye

Grad student: Bye (and starts his experiment)


Saturday (in lab)

Grad student: Is anybody there?


Sunday (in lab)

Grad student: Is anybody there?