Over the last few days, 'A' has been pounding me with questions. Questions about India. I was never this motivated to go to lab - these days I just feel like going because she'll be around to ask questions. I think I'd wipe less sweat from my forehead even if I was facing my panel during the PhD exams; this girl asks a new question before I complete answering the previous one.

None of her questions intrigued me so much as the one she asked today. It was not the question about how our languages evolved, not the question about why we eat spicy food, not the one about why we still choose to learn English from our infancy, certainly not the one regarding how a country with a population of 1.17 billion can still have a strong economy. This question was something I had never asked myself... something I never thought I'd have to answer. The question was straight and simple, yet so profound - it would define what I am today.

She asked me: "How does it feel to be an Indian?"

How does it feel to be an Indian? How does it feel to be from a country with a history dating back to thousands of years? How does it feel to be from a country where nearly 2-million criminal cases are 'recorded' under IPC every year? How does it feel to be an Indian where we worship 330 million Gods, speak over 1500 different languages, celebrate more than 365 festivals ... and at the same time ... have increasing reported mortality rates (6 deaths for every 1000 population), even more increasing reported birth rates (22 births per 1000 population), and even in 2009, every hour, at least 18 women become victims of crime?

Should we feel proud to be Indians as we belong to the land of the Mahatma - where we hold the record of not instigating war ever in our thousands of years of violent history? Should we feel proud to belong to the land where 'zero' was invented; where plastic surgery was first performed in 6th century BC; where the greatest of the epics were written and narrated; where the seat of the world's biggest democracy sits; the land of the spices which paved way to the world's greatest silk routes; the land of the biggest movie industry where almost a thousand movies are made annually?

Or are we just from yet another third world country where there are the highest number of tuberculosis infections; a place where there are highest number of deaths due to terrorist attacks almost in the world save for Iraq; a democratic country where nearly 540 Indian Parliament members face corruption charges including embezzlement, rape and murder; a 21-st century economic super power that still struggles with an ancient discriminatory caste system?

How does it feel to be from India where most people can't even sing the national anthem without erring; where our own national animal is facing extinction; where our national game gets the least encouragement; where we still find places that do not get electricity? Or do we bask in glory because nearly 40% of doctors in USA and 40% of employees in NASA are Indians; because India has the second fastest growing economy in the world; because we have a burgeoning IT sector that has made even the Westerners insecure of their jobs?

It all depends on how we see India as. Its not enough to just continue to glint in the stories of our history. At the same time, we have no reasons to stop believing that India has the potential to be the greatest country in the world - it has all the raw materials for it!

How does it feel to be an Indian? Its the toughest question I have ever faced. In a room where there are people from America, Russia, Canada, Taiwan, Japan, Colombia and China... its an Indian who's asked 'the' most number of questions about his country. Its tough being an Indian and yet the greatest thing ever. I stay 8000 miles away from home; yet all it takes for me is to see an Indian flag fluttering to give me an adrenalin rush. I still read the Indian newspaper - the story of the death tolls and the story of our rocket sciences. I still drink the Indian tea - with ginger, cardamom and lots of sugar. I live in a country whose culture differs so much from ours, yet my roots hold me firmly and defines me and my personality. I guess that's what it feels to be Indian!