Definitions of single on the web:

·         Individual: being or characteristic of a single thing or person

·         Existing alone

·         Unmarried: with relation to status, sex and parenthood

·         Lacking a partner; solitary

The last definition really intrigued me! I’m Suhas; 24 years, 7 months, 26 days since my birth. If I’m right about my prediction that my lifespan is just around 50 years, I have lived half my life. And I have lived it in solitary confinement if you will.

I often questioned myself … is the world’s population an odd number or an even number? Today, I can safely say, it is an odd number.  Every person on this planet has found a partner … if not, they will eventually. I was created perhaps as this ‘joker’ character … a joker is a not-so-good-player in cricket who’s the odd person and ends up playing for both the teams as his presence hardly makes a difference to any team.

According to the US Dept. of Health and Human Services, NCHS, there were 2,208,000 marriages in the US in 2008. And this is just marriage … the remaining people are mostly unmarried couples. So with such chilling statistics, what the HECK will people like me do? Oh! Wait a minute … there are no people like me… it is just me and me alone!

But a little bit of introspection clears the air a bit. Do I really need a girlfriend now? Don’t my lab rats do everything a girlfriend could possibly do? Ok, maybe not in the true sense. But then, from giving me free phones to taking me out for their lingerie shopping, I am getting everything I wished for. Do you guys (especially those who have never shopped with girls) have a frikkin’ clue about the varieties of dresses a girl’s section have? It is not just about the color or the design boss… it is about the material; it is about the cuts; it is about the transparency; it is about the length (or the lack of it); the girl’s section is a world of its own. It is like the closet of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’… a hidden magical world where dangerous things can happen (like shopping beyond your credit limit).

And it is not just about shopping. Girls tend to be possessive and expect their puppet (spelt boyfriend) to be possessive… about them of course! I DON’T have to be possessive at all. Or better put, I can be possessive about different people on different days. Or you might think I am getting the definition of being possessive wrong. But who really defined the time period of possessiveness?

And there is a certain degree of comfort talking to committed individuals. They open out to you trusting that you won’t flirt with them considering their commitment status. They have a vent to bitch about their boyfriends which is pretty amusing to hear. And there’s no effort needed to impress anybody… be unshaven, wear yellow pants, have a bad hair day, pick your nose, drink through your nostrils … and still nothing changes!

But then… yeah, there’s always a BUT; which is the BUTT of all problems. Life gets too boring if things remain calm and smooth all the time. Happiness has to be as transient as sadness. Both happiness and girlfriends are to be handled, in life, with equal poise. And it is always nice… the ‘one’ person, the ‘one’ next to whom you sit by default when watching a movie or in a bus; the ‘one’ person’s popcorn … the only popcorn you ever wish to share from; the ‘one’ person whose hair you want to feel; the ‘one’ person whose hands you want to hold and take long walks on beautiful evenings; the ‘one’ person whose hug can comfort you even if India has lost a match; the ‘one’ person who is always the ‘one’ and nothing can replace that.

To me, the ‘one’ is and has to be arranged … love is a gift I am yet to receive… I’m Suhas; 24 years, 7 months, 26 days since my birth… and I think I need to go do a Western Blot now (anti-climax ain’t it?)